If I Had A Hammer

It’s been 2 months since we moved into our new home in the Cote D’Armor region of Brittany and our renovations continue apace. Steve is somewhat of a machine when it comes to getting the work done. Up at half 5 or 6 o’clock at the latest, he soldiers on day after day, hardly stopping for a break. He’s usually exhausted by 6 or 7 in the evening, and will predictably fall fast asleep on the settee by 8pm, missing the latest happenings in our favourite TV shows, namely, Nashville, NCIS and even Game of Thrones! When it comes to watching the next one, and they do the “Previously, on Game of Thrones” he will inevitably say, “Hang on, we’ve not seen that one yet”, while I assure him that we most certainly have seen it, but remind him that he fell asleep precisely 30 seconds into it. Poor man L

Shhhhh don't wake him

When we first moved into the house, a host of differing needs clamoured for attention; the first task for Steve was to prioritise what had to be tackled first. Thankfully, the house did have electricity, albeit of the antique variety, which required replacing as soon as possible. We were also thankful to have mains drainage, which did work of a fashion. For me, getting the kitchen in working order was top of the list and thankfully Steve agreed.The old kitchen consisted of a sink, a cooker, a dresser and a couple of manky old work surfaces. 

The kitchen "before"

"Before"

Also taking up space in one corner was an enormous old radiator, which Steve discovered weighed a ton!

Old and very very heavy!

He spent the next couple of weeks, replacing all the worn plumbing fittings, ripping out the nasty bits and gradually I saw a real kitchen emerging. 

Plumbing things in

I DID help!

Bright tiles, new sockets, units and cupboards all appeared. The old cooker and sink were steam cleaned, scrubbed, disinfected and restored to useful working order. 

Slowly slowly everything got done

It received a coat of paint, some new appliances, and then the finishing touches like the lampshades, blinds and accessories brought it all together into what I’m sure you will agree is nothing short of amazing J

Ta Da!

My stunning new kitchen. I love it!

We bought the main bulk of kitchen units, wiring, plumbing supplies, tiles, lighting, wood etc at a huge store called Leroy Merlin in Saint Brieuc, which is roughly 40 minutes away from us – they have stores in many other places too. Stocking pretty much everything you would ever need for home and garden, Steve was like a kid in a sweet shop. We made sure we had a store card as Leroy Merlin offer one of the best discounts we have found here. We paid €9 for a store card for three years, but the benefits are huge. With a one off discount of 15% we chose to use this at a time when we had spent almost €2000 on kitchen units, a heating system and much much more. It was a discount well worth having. You also get the chance of a free home delivery and regular discounts on all purchases. Their after sales service is excellent – returns do not require a receipt as long as you have your store card, and are hassle free. If you have to order something, which is not in stock, they will write to you to let you know it has arrived. We can highly recommend this store as one of the best AND in our opinion, one of the most reasonable in price.  

After a typical trip to the DIY store

I speak reasonable French, Steve speaks none. However, the vocabulary required for a renovation project is way beyond my capabilities and I soon discovered that my French English dictionary was absolutely essential when we went to the store. On one occasion I forgot to bring it and we spent a frustrating hour trying to work out which product was wood preserver, and which was simply wood varnish. Our discussion went something like this;

Steve; So, which one is it?

Me; (Reaching into my bag only to discover I don’t have my dictionary) Oh damn, I’m not sure – I’ve forgotten the dictionary.

Steve; Why have you forgotten it? You know we need it.

Me (sulkily) I KNOW we need it, I didn’t forget it deliberately. Let me try and work it out – peers at the dozens of products on display

Steve; Well? Which one?

Me; No idea

Steve; This is no good, I mean we have to remember the dictionary next time

Me; We? We have to remember it? You mean I have to remember it, you don’t remember anything

Steve; You know what I mean

Sigh, you get the idea.

Thankfully we found a helpful member of staff who spoke English and could help us, but I never left my dictionary at home again – I, not we J

As well as working on the kitchen, Steve was also busy doing a million other jobs alongside. He was rewiring, refitting plumbing fixtures, putting up stud walls to make 2 of the bedrooms into en-suites, knocking massive holes through to make a new doorway and on and on.

New doorway in progress

Yikes, the DUST!

The other main DIY store we used is Bricomarche; we have one close by in a place called Rostrenen, and have become regulars! I think we might be invited to the staff Christmas party at this rate J Again, we got the store card to qualify for 10% discount and have found staff to be helpful and polite. Bricomarche stocks most of what we require for day to day renovations. We managed to place an order for a home delivery of sand, ballast, cement and wood, which was another big step in learning how things work here. Bricomarche also sell a smaller selection of home furnishings, curtains, blinds, wallpaper, paint etc, which is useful for me as when Steve is off spending an hour perusing plumbing fittings, I can disappear to find floaty curtains J

One thing we have found invaluable is our walkie talkies, and the staff have become accustomed to the mad English who go round their store communicating with each other in this way. It’s great as I can wander off and find even more red kitchen accessories, and Steve can find me if he needs me to translate something. We get some funny looks though J

Bricomarche has the added bonus of having Intermarche next door – a massive supermarket with the best strawberry tarts we have found anywhere. They also have a decent café for snacks, coffee or a full blown sit down lunch, so loved by the French.

Mmm treats

One of Steve’s biggest tasks has been rewiring the whole house. This is a Hard Job (capital H, capital J there) and at times, I have been called upon to assist in;

Wire holding

Wire passing

Wire pulling

Wire poking

The dreaded rewiring

These are important Jobs for which I am given detailed instructions, but at times, the rolls of wire take on a life force of their own and behave in a way, which makes Steve’s life a misery. Snagging, kinking and generally badly behaved wire results in a lot of strong armed pulling and comments such as, “For goodness sake it’s your job” as he tries to make the wire go where it’s supposed to go. The wiring on the stairs was particularly irksome – feeding all the way around the kitchen, up the stairs and into the living room, it looked like spaghetti junction and I was called upon to help.

Steve; Can you just give me a hand here

Me; (Pleased to be needed) Of course, what shall I do?

Steve; Right (any job which starts with right, is a serious one) I need you to hold this wire and when I say, let it feed through. Don’t let this one (indicates another wire) come through as well, and watch that the trunking (black pipe which the wire lives in) stays where it is.

Me; (a bit daunted) Okay

Steve; And don’t be touching any wires you’re not supposed to be touching

Me; Eh? How can I not touch any wires I’m not supposed to be touching? How can I possibly know which wires I’m not supposed to be touching?

Steve; Just do what I said

Don't touch what you're not supposed to be touching! Err okay then

All under control now

And so it goes on J Like a lot of men, Steve thinks that because he knows what he means in his head, then everyone else should also understand. I dread being asked to go fetch tools or other things from the room where such things are kept.

It's in there somewhere doesn't really help!

Steve; Can you fetch me my pliers with the yellow handles please? Not the red ones, oh and my 4” drill bit as well.

Me; (nervously) where might I find them (knowing that all tools and metal bits of drill look the same to me)

Steve; They’re all in there somewhere

See what I mean? All in there somewhere, that’s not helpful at all.

So far, it’s been great fun; we’ve learned a lot – I’ve learned what a 4” drill bit looks like for a start and I can thread a wire like nobody’s business J 

Ha! I've got this wiring business sorted

We know which stores are the best ones for us and which ones are not so great. As well as Bricomarche and Leroy Merlin, we have used Conforama, which is another big home furnishing store, which sells white goods, furniture and bigger items. Their delivery charges are pretty steep, but you can hire a van from them at a reasonable cost. Leclerc is another good supermarket to rival Intermarche and of course we have good old Lidl for those unbeatable offers they have on all the time, which keeps us going back for more.

What we did find was that a trailer is pretty essential when tackling a renovation project. We only wish we had bought it immediately as we have paid out several hundred euros in store charges for bigger items such as the sofa, fridge freezer etc, when we could have done it ourselves with the trailer. 

Delivery comes at a price

The decider came when we had cleared the garden and had so much rubbish to move, it would have required paying someone to take it away. We bit the bullet, got the trailer and took it to the dechetterie (rubbish tip) ourselves. Every town has its own dechetterie which is a real bonus when you have as much rubble and rubbish to get rid of as we have!

The all essential trailer loaded up for the tip

And so we press on; Steve has achieved truly astonishing results in the few weeks we’ve been here. He is making a home for us to be proud of. We love the village we live in. I particularly enjoy my daily walks to the boulangerie for their unbeatable fresh baked bread and pastries. 

Our delightful boulangerie

Easy to see why I am a daily visitor here!

Here is the little bar/cafe, which we frequent when we get a minute, 

The cafe/bar, the hub of any French village

There is also the beautiful countryside where I now spend so much of my time as we now have a rescue dog – oh yes, did I not mention Merlin? Sigh, just what you need in the middle of renovations – a dog! Not just any dog of course, but a highly strung, nervous wreck of a Grand Basset Griffon Vendeen. More about that madness in another blog J

Steve and I collecting the lovely Merlin from the SPA refuge in Quimper

Please visit my website at www.freyabarrington.com for more details about me and my writing. Many thanks

Bye for now.

Freya

On The Road Again

It was time to leave Spain.

We had rented an isolated cortijo in order for me to have three months of peace and quiet to finish my third book.

Spain was a stunningly beautiful place to live

I had achieved that goal, and we had thoroughly enjoyed our brief time in this tiny place called San Clemente, close to a town called Huescar. Surrounded by mountains, and a breath taking reservoir of water so blue, it looked as if someone had added dye to it. There were acres of almond trees, blossoming pink, stony fields, herds of sheep and goats and nothing much else, it was a truly stunning place to live. 

The San Clemente reservoir

And spectacular sunsets

Snow topped mountains

The shepherd with his roaming flock of sheep and goats

And of course, the griffon vultures!




However, lovely as it was, it wasn’t France – France had captured our hearts.

And so came the task of loading up to travel again. Those of you who know us, will be aware that this is a job for Steve. I am NOT, I repeat NOT permitted to load the Land Rover as I will get it wrong and the universe as we know it will cease to function. I am however allowed to pass things, but even this is fraught with indecision and worry. Will I pass the wrong thing? Will I stack it all wrong outside the waiting Land Rover? Sigh, it’s a daunting task.

Just SOME of the stuff, which had to be packed!




Steve had been sorting stuff out for many weeks prior to us leaving, so by the time we were ready to pack the vehicle, we had a veritable mountain of things to get in there. Even Steve looked a bit dubious as he eyed it up, mentally making a note of what would go where and how. I rushed about making coffee, bacon sandwiches and generally getting in the way.

“Is that it now?” asked Steve in a clipped tone somewhere between Sam the American eagle off Sesame Street and Doc Martin.

“Err, I think so” I replied hopefully.

“No, I mean is that REALLY it?” he said more forcefully – a bit more Jason Statham on a bad day.

I looked around nervously wondering if stuff would manifest out of the air.

“Nope” I said with some relief, “That is IT. On no hang on, here’s my jewellery box, I really wanted it in the front, but I’ll put it behind my seat if there’s room”

“Steve escorted me out and pointed to exactly where I should put the box. Under close supervision, I pushed the box in. It just about went behind the head rest, just about.

“That’s definitely it now” I said with great satisfaction jumping down.

Our trusty Land Rover, which has traveled thousands of miles with us




Steve remained unconvinced and began prowling round the house checking all the nooks and crannies. I returned to the kitchen for more coffee. I stood poised, cafetiere in hand. I stared at it almost in surprise as it dawned on me. Oh hell’s bells, I’d forgotten about this, oh and the cups we’re currently drinking coffee out of. Quickly washing them up, I also realised that the fairy liquid still stood in its usual place by the sink. Drat, this isn’t going to earn me any points. Hurriedly, I whisked them onto the “Things for packing” table and tried to pretend that they had always been there.

He was not fooled, not for one second.

“Where’d these come from?” said Steve suspiciously as he returned from his military style, grid sweep of the house.

“Ahh yes, just those and then that’s it” I said casually.

I think I heard a growl as he picked them up and spirited them away.

“Make sure I can find my cafetiere” I called hopefully - I don’t do well without my coffee.

The pile of “Things for packing” had finally been reduced to nothing. I looked on the table for my own little pile of “Things for taking in the front with me”, but it was no longer there. I had mouthwash, baby wipes and other useful items for cleanliness and personal hygiene. They were gone.

“Have you seen the mouthwash?” I asked, dreading the response.

“Was it on the table?” asked Steve in a half accusatory tone.

“Mmm yes, it was with my things for having in the front with me” I explained.

“If it was on the table; it’s packed” came the blunt, no nonsense, don’t argue about it, answer.

“Ahh” I said fighting an immediate urge to use some mouthwash.

And so, we were ready to leave. Even Steve had satisfied his fear of leaving something behind, and was stood, car keys in hand – ready.

“Oh the rubbish” I suddenly remembered with a stab of panic.

Steve’s face darkened, this was not part of his plan.

“WHAT rubbish?” he demanded.

“Well, all the rubbish” I replied, “We can’t leave it here. There’s a big black bin liner full”

He sighed, deeply and with great meaning. “And just WHERE exactly do you propose we put it?” he asked with a thin smile, which was only pretending to be friendly.

And so it was that; we set off up the road with me sharing space with an enormous bag of rubbish squashed on my knee. No mouthwash, but a bag of rubbish. Thankfully, it was only about half a mile to the bins where the rubbish and I fell gratefully out of the door together, as I rid myself of its unwanted presence. If only I’d had some baby wipes to clean my hands!

Never mind, we were off. We had planned to make this a trip with two overnight stops, arriving at our destination in Brittany on day three. After all, it was a drive of over 17 hours, which even by Steve’s standard was fairly epic.

On the road at long last






Within ten minutes of jettisoning the rubbish, I wanted coffee, but knew there was no chance of getting any for many hours yet. On long journeys, I become easily bored and tend to rummage around in my rucksack, the glove compartment and everywhere else I can reach to see what might bring me some relief from the endless journey. Aha, chewing gum. I pounced, though knew it wasn’t the same as a good cup of coffee.

“Want some?” I asked Steve. He nodded, and in the way women do, I popped a piece in his mouth for him as he drove.

Precisely five minutes later, I had lost all interest in my gum as its flavour disappeared. I rootled around until I found a bit of tissue to wrap it in and that was that distraction over. Now what?

“Are you getting ready for a coffee?” I asked hopefully after what I felt was a respectable length of time.

“No” came the one syllable response as Steve applied his concentration to the road ahead.

Well, it was worth a try. Devoid of coffee, I tried to focus on the beauty of the surroundings as we drove through mountains, fields, valleys, gorges and more. It truly was a lovely area, and while we were sad to leave Spain, we were doubly excited to be on our way back to France.

Great scenery






Without any warning, a car pulled out in front of us. Steve braked and my jewellery box dislodged itself and bonked me on the back of the head.

“Ouch” I exclaimed rubbing my head.

“You okay?” asked Steve concerned.

“I’m fine thanks, I’ll just stick this box back up there”. I wriggled around in my seat and managed to poke the box back into its tiny space.

“There” I said, “It’s back”.

Settling once again to the splendour of the drive, it wasn’t long before the vibration of the Land Rover shook the box free again and BANG, it bonked me on the back of the head yet again.

“You only packed one thing” said Steve in exasperation.

He was right. Despite his supervision, the one item I packed was an utter failure! Sigh, not one thing he packed ever moved, not for 17 long hours.

Finally, it was time for coffee and I had to restrain myself from falling weeping at the feet of the man who sold it to me. Like I said, I do not do well without my coffee.

Back on the road again, the boredom soon set in. I remembered the gum.

“Want some more gum?” I asked.

“Still got this piece” came the laconic response.

How does that work? I mean it can’t possibly have any flavour left whatsoever AND he had a coffee!

After about 8 hours of driving, we reached our initial destination, the Salles Airport Hotel in Girona. We had stayed here before and liked it a lot. If you ever need to fly out of Girona, this is an ideal hotel. Very close to the airport, with lots of parking, decent rooms, and a spa; we loved it.

Once we’d dumped our bags, we headed for the restaurant – both more than ready for a proper meal. I noted with some amazement that Steve finally got rid of his chewing gum – seriously?

We studied the menu and had a discussion, which went a bit like this.

Steve; I’ll have that chicken if it’s boneless (Steve does not eat food, which contains, bones OR skin)

Me; Well, I can ask.

Steve; Yes, but I ONLY want it, if it’s boneless with no skin either. I don’t want it if it’s got bones or skin on.

Me; Yes, I know, this is not the first time I’ve ordered food for you.

I was pleased to see that the same waiter worked there as the last time we stayed. He spoke perfect English, which was a huge bonus as I have no Spanish whatsoever.

“Hi there” I said brightly, “Do you remember us? We stayed here a few months ago”. The man smiled warily; clearly he did not remember us, but nodded politely and pretended that he did.

Pointing to the menu I asked, “Is this chicken boneless?” He leaned in, studied it for a moment and declared, “Yes madam, boneless”. I nodded, “Aha, so, just to clarify, it has no bones in it at all, it’s a chicken filet?” He drew himself up an inch or two before answering, “No bones in it madam, no”. Smiling in relief that there was something Steve would actually eat, I continued, “Great, then we’ll have one chicken, and one risotto thank you”.

We weren’t done yet.

“Do you have decaffeinated coffee?” I asked hopefully.

“Yes madam, decaffeinated coffee is available.  

“Wonderful” I exclaimed a bit too enthusiastically, “One decaf coffee and one white wine then”.

As we waited for our food, we relaxed and chatted about our trip, with that feel good feeling you get when things are actually going to plan. Steve drank his coffee and I enjoyed my glass of wine. The food arrived; my risotto looked lovely, but as the waiter put the chicken in front of Steve, we exchanged a weary look. Yes, you’ve guessed it, it was ON the bone, clearly NOT boneless. I sighed, “Give it to me” I said as I began separating the unfortunate fowl from its bones. I handed it back to Steve, NOW it was boneless!

Later on, and by later on I mean four o’clock in the morning, we had a discussion;

Steve; “Are you awake?”

Me; “Well, I wasn’t, but I am now”

Steve, in a tight voice; “I’ve not been to sleep yet”

I shook my head in silent sympathy

Me; “Coffee wasn't decaf then?” I said, stating the obvious.

Steve; “Nope” came the reply

Why was I not surprised.

The next day after precious little sleep, Steve was ready to roll again. It didn’t take us very long to leave the country of Spain behind for good. As we crossed the Spanish French border and saw the mountains of France come into view, along with the familiar road signs, the space and the beauty of it all, we felt like we had come home.

We had another day of travel, staying overnight in Niort before finally setting off on day three to our real destination.

Brittany.

Coming next ………………… signing for our new home and moving in J

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All the best

Freya